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How can I make sure I’m not staying with someone who isn’t bringing out my best self?

SoSheDid
Unhappy couple not talking after argument on bed at home in bedroom

First, you have to be willing to be alone in order to find the best partner. Otherwise, you’ll settle for whatever is there. Second, be confident knowing that you deserve the best. Value your own fantastic qualities and know you deserve someone who will put in the same effort and respect toward the relationship that you will. And if it doesn’t work out, you’ll find something better for you. Not because you’re putting the other person down, but because you’re trusting that you will find a better fit for you, remembering you deserve the best. Third, stay lucid and take it slow. Watch carefully and see the man for who he is, and how he is, not just your projection of what you want. Avoid distorting reality to get what you want. Fourth, take your time to commit, as this gives you time to see him in different lights, and you will be more confident in your decision. Taking it slowly also allows you both to have a comfortable place to gradually adjust and learn how to be together in a sustainable way. You can therefore see the potential in him, what he’s growing into, and what he’s capable of.

Ultimately, focus on your feelings: how are you feeling about him, how does he make you feel about yourself when he’s around and when he’s not there? Does he make you feel awesome? Are you feeling your best? Strong, confident, grounded and resilient? This is not about either of you changing who you are to accommodate the other. It is about discovering the best of your self and being with someone who encourages you to live from that place.

You are worthwhile, remember that.

 

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