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How do I tell a guy I am looking for a relationship without scaring him off?


A guy who’s worth your time would not be scared off. If he doesn’t want a relationship, then it’s not going to work, and it’s fine that you’re scaring him off. It’s an easy way for you to filter out the ones who aren’t worth your time. Be honest, simple and clear about it.

Women often relinquish power, and wait for the man to decide if he wants to be with her, and on what terms. It is important to remember, “Is this what I want? Is this good enough for me?” When we focus on, “Does he like me?” we are inviting insecurity into the dynamic (you found an easter egg!). Rather than focus on what he’s thinking or feeling, we should assess whether what’s happening is working for us. By keeping an objective perspective on whether it’s sustainable, we are inviting a healthy relationship.

It’s common to jump to wondering if a guy likes you or wants to be in a relationship with you before fully establishing that you are in fact interested in him. This can easily lead to one losing her sense of self. Better to stay in data collection mode for longer, and not get distracted trying to figure out what he’s thinking. Focus on your feelings, your thoughts, and by being your best self (and not losing yourself), you invite him to be his best self. The longer you wait to commit, the more time you have to assess and see him in different lights, and see him for who he is, not what you want to see. Stay focused on you, and confident that you deserve the best.


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